vampire girlfriend


i bite you!

this is an ad for eHarmony on Facebook.

it's a different approach than that guy in the suit.

i'll take the girlfriend without the rabies.

thankskaybye.

birfday!



my sincerest thanks to everyone who made it one of the Best Birthdays Ever.*

(*actual day of birth is today.)

a special thank you goes out to Matt, Brandy, Jordan, and Jensen for their birthday planning. i am fortunate to have such friends.

janx's bicycle is superior at comedy!

this story really is a "had-to-be-there" but i am going to try and share it with you anyways.

timing is everything with comedy. the best comedy has a rhythm to it.

on it's most basic level it can be broken down thusly:

first part of joke or gag

BEAT (creating anticipation)

punch line.

---

having buried my bicycles (one for all the off-roading i do, and the other for all the on-roading i do) in the garage for over a year, they were freed several weeks ago when i rolled up my sleeves and cleaned it out--well, organized all the junk in there.

the tires of both bicycles were completely flat.

i pulled out the air compressor--every household should have one--and went about filling them up.

the "mountain bike" had its front tire off the rim. i centered it on the rim and added the air.

then i aired up the road bike.

i was excited. i was about to open the garage door to take them for a spin when i heard a

Frrrrrrrrrup.

i turned to see that i had not centered the front tire on the mountain bike and a large portion of the tube was sticking out.

"oh," i said, considering the next step (releasing the air from the tube).

(or, BEAT)

BAM!

the tube exploded.

COMEDY GOLD!

(or comedy gold were my ears not ringing until three in the morning. Uncle Janxy recommends covering your ears the moment you see something filled with air expand to its capacity. that mutha's prolly gonna blow.)

thoughts prompted by my upcoming birthday.
or
keep on the sunny side of life

i haven't had much to say, for a couple of reasons.

lots to do recently. my dance card is full up and then some.

the other side, though, is my birthday is coming up and it's the time of year i get all "thoughty."

my birthday is my New Years, which is to say, the time i take to look at my life and the previous year. (for me it makes sense, it being a literal year in my life.)

it's been a great year. a lot has happened--in my professional life--and i kicked some serious tail. the things i went through have given me a clearer sense of purpose and self.

terms like "clearer sense of purpose and self" is why i haven't blogged. i don't like reading blogs where someone goes on and on about themselves (it is their thoughts on stuff i am interested in). an example of blogs i don't like is the whiny "why don't i have a girlfriend?" kind, like the one i tripped on yesterday. if i am going to say anything here, i want it to be something i would want to read. i don't want to read that. plus, it makes you look like a loser. you want a girlfriend? go get one. i am sure there's a gal out there who's standards are low enough to date you (whiny blogger guy).

so, here's my thoughts.

---

chewing on my life, there is a hand raised from the audience. a hand raised, and then a poster board sign held aloft. ignored further, it pulls out an air horn.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

"yes? can i help you?"
"yeah, hey. how about all the stuff you don't have?"
"what do you mean?"
"you know, the stuff missing from your life?"
"what about it?"
"don't you kind of deserve this stuff? i mean, doesn't it make you mad you don't have it?"

i don't have to ask for examples, because i know what it's talking about.

"yeah. i know what you're getting at. it's been a concern before. now, though, not so much."
"huh?"

it's human nature--or has been my nature--when i gaze over my life, to see only what's missing, what i don't have.

the problem with this, of course, is that it completely overlooks all the stuff i do have.

family. friends. opportunities. a good place to live. people who care for me. there's no value i can put on these things, they are beyond it.

i've put on a new filter when looking at things. i exchanged "see what i ain't got" to "see what great things i got."

i am thankful for all that is good in my life.

additionally, what does being wrapped up with "don't haves" buy me? nothing. nothing but a self imposed swamp of stuck in the mud.

it ushers in all this gunk. depression. sadness. self-pity. none of which is much fun to be around, and all of which is detrimental to the living of life. head-to-toe in that sludge, the best i can do is slog along, weighed down by a situation i created--in my MIND.

the richness of life can be found in where i am now, versus where parts of me feel i should be. i choose how to feel in a moment. i think i rob myself of something if i don't cherish--or instead begrudge--the moment i am in, the life i am living.

"golly it sure would be great if i was thus-and-so."

well, sure. but i ain't, so i look to find the greatness in where i am now.

a shift of perspective.

it makes it a lot more fun.

this morning, in my head

Til Kingdom Come

Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

Coldplay

me-YOW!!!

you've seen it, probably. it's been a device used in scary movies for years.

scenario:

guy/girl is walking in dark place.

killer is lurking about.

SUDDENLYOUTOFTHESHADOWSACATJUMPS!!!

which, if done right, makes you jump and then you say,

"dumb cat!"

or

"that's super lame that they did that."

or

"i can't believe they went for the cat."

it is, however, very often an effective device.

especially when you're taking out the trash.

the city's large rolling can is in the shadows on the side of the house.

and

ACATJUMPSOUTOFTHESHADOWS!!!

turns out, just as jump inducing, if not more, in real life.

plush gush no. 3 : Alicia Traveria


more brizzilliant work from my pal Alicia.

she's using a great technique here. i thought i'd been around the block, but i guess i was wrong.

creating a plush out of canvas and then treating it like a painting.

smart.

(i can hear her now, "janxtopher, you've seen several of my pieces like this.")

and while she is completely right--she often is--she gives a blow-by-blow How She Done It on her blog.

my apologies:
blog navigation update

this one goes out to Kennon, who was trying to find some photos i'd taken, but could not because there is no organization on my blog.


just throw the stinkin' ball already.
my newest niece's dog, maddie.*

i've done some things to rectify this situation.

i added "LABELED POSTS" to the side bar over there.

"see photo posts" will take you to posts with photos i took.
"see art posts" will take you to posts with art i drew.

i also added, a "JANX TAKES PICS" which is permanent link to my Flickr site.

(i have to go in and label all these posts, which will take a little time, but at least all the new posts will be set up this way.)

also, i am organizing (and still wrapping my head around photostreams on Flickr.** (lots more pics of the newest niece under "family.")

* no Photoshop was used in this picture.
** the link worked last night.
*** the sidebar needs some finessing.

falcon in the hood

it was a morning a while back. there are lots of birds in my neighborhood, but i'd never seen this kind.


hello. i am a falcon.

luckily, i was prepared.

(photo's grainy because he was 100 feet away.)


hey. what's that guy doing with that camera?

he was in the tree in my backyard.

i had time to get out my camera.


dude.

and click off a few pics.


I FLY AT YOUR HEAD!

before he flew at my head.

(he didn't get me.)

---

you say falcon, i say hawkmato

this from sgbaughn, who commented on the image on Flickr:

"This is a Cooper's Hawk which is an Accipiter. An Accipiter is a raptor that prays on other birds. A falcon also preys on other birds but has distinct differences in build. This is not intended as a criticism, as it is a very common mistake. If inclined, please check out the following link: frg.org/"

WE REALLY HATE IT!

having joined Facebook recently, i've had the opportunity to say hello to people from high school i haven't talked to in almost 20 years.

here's what i've learned:

1) no one shares the same memories.

just about every "dude! do you remember?!" i've been asked, i don't remember it.

not even a little.

2) very few people found it a pleasant experience. most of them want to forget it.

---

i hadn't thought about how i felt about high school.

i think, overall, what i walked away with were the good memories.

but i'm certainly not the "dude! those were THE BEST times! throw me another cold one!" type.

i wasn't scarred by it--even the bad experiences--much of which i don't remember.

teenage years are so messed up. i chalk most of the goofy stuff to that. it has little bearing on who i am now.

so, no, while it was painful for some of my classmates, and therefore banished from their recollection, i have no problem with it all.

---

i've said here before that i don't know if all this "reconnecting" is healthy.

memories are an important part of who we are, and the reality of the people who were important to us then--now--20 years after the fact, tends to shatter the glass they are inscribed upon.

i have also learned that people who were important to you, did not always return the feeling. (which, BTW, is not a good feeling, really.)

---

so, then, what's the point of all this reconnection?

we've got our own lives now. most of us married, parents, living somewhere else. we share little except for the passage through school.

also, out of all the people i've said hello to, only one is really the long lasting kind of friend.

the rest are strangers.

maybe they should remain that way.